How our beliefs create our reality
In our human existence, language allows us to express ourselves and it uses its implicit power, which is to shape our reality through the creation of convictions and beliefs. Thanks to the word we define who we are, we tell the story of our life, and we give shape to the meanings that make up our personal reality, therefore the perimeter within which our mind moves.
The mind creates a representation, a model of the world, organizing information (situations, events, people) based on what we believe to be true, good, safe, and right for us. For example, there are those who believe that drinking a glass of red wine at dinner is a cure-all, while there are others who believe that consuming alcohol regularly is bad for your health; there are people who believe that the sun is good for the bones, other people believe that it hurts and if we were in Asia we would walk the streets with an umbrella to protect ourselves from the sun, because the belief is that white skin is more beautiful of the tanned one, but who is right? Which point of view is true or right? You too have your opinion on these examples, and you too are conditioned by your experience, your system of beliefs and values, or rather by what is closest to your world.
When we understand that everything is elaborated in the form of beliefs by our mind, we also understand that there is no belief that is truer than another, but surely there are beliefs that are more empowering and others that are more limiting; therefore, here is explained why some people work better than others! There is no reality truer than another, it is only about our history, the culture to which we belong, and the conditioning received, especially in the first years of life.
In adulthood we can consciously choose to want to progress and function better in our categories of life (relationships, health, work, finances,..), but this change precludes work on ourselves to review the meanings attributed and to free ourselves from the useless baggage of past.
Why Is It Important to Examine Our Beliefs?
As adults, it is important to slow down and observe how we function and whether our behaviours contribute positively to our well-being, relationships, health and personal life. Our behaviours are often influenced by our beliefs, because what we believe affects the choices we make. For example, if I believe that carrots are not good for me or that I dislike them, I will probably avoid eating them. If I believe they are beneficial, I may be more likely to include them in my diet.
Some beliefs, however, can work against us. Becoming aware of them allows us to question whether they are still useful and, where necessary, begin to change them. Our thoughts, words and behaviours are influenced by deeply rooted assumptions and interpretations that we have developed throughout our lives.
Beliefs can operate like automatic patterns, influencing the way we interpret situations, experience emotions and behave. Working consciously on these patterns can therefore help us develop different responses and, consequently, different outcomes.
Changing our beliefs is not always easy, however, because they are embedded within our personal history and often interconnected with one another. Questioning one belief may therefore lead us to reconsider others that are closely related to it.
But Who Am I, Really?
“How do I see myself? How do I perceive myself? And what do I believe about who I am?”
The image we have of ourselves can be strongly influenced by the way other people have perceived and described us.
From childhood onwards, we are shaped by many influences: our culture, family, education, social environment, religion and the communities to which we belong. The opinions that others express about us can also contribute to this process, highlighting our qualities and weaknesses, strengths and limitations, while encouraging certain behaviours and discouraging others.
As children, we gradually learn which behaviours are accepted within our environment and which are not. Over time, these experiences can influence the way we think, behave and understand ourselves.
Throughout our lives, we may therefore learn to see ourselves partly through the eyes of others, sometimes treating their opinions as objective truths. When we repeatedly hear messages about who we are or are not, we may eventually internalise them.
Statements such as “you’re too loud,” “you’re aggressive,” or “you’re stupid” can become internal voices that continue to influence our self-image long after childhood.
It is also important to remember that the people who influenced us were themselves shaped by their own families, cultures and experiences. Many of these patterns are transmitted across generations, often without conscious intention and with the best intentions.
How Beliefs Shape Our Personal Reality
Our beliefs influence what we notice, how we interpret situations and the meaning we assign to our experiences.
The brain naturally tends to seek information that is consistent with existing beliefs—a phenomenon related to what psychology describes as confirmation bias. As a result, we may pay greater attention to experiences that reinforce what we already believe while overlooking information that challenges our assumptions.
This does not mean that beliefs literally attract events or create physical reality, nor is this explained by quantum physics. Rather, our beliefs can influence our attention, expectations, decisions and behaviours, which in turn can affect the experiences and outcomes we encounter.
This is also why changing a deeply rooted belief can sometimes be difficult, even when we are presented with information that contradicts it.
How Can We Change a Belief?
We did not consciously choose many of the beliefs we carry into adulthood. Some developed through childhood experiences, relationships, education and the environments in which we grew up.
But as adults, we can begin to examine them.
We can think of this process as opening a wardrobe filled with clothes accumulated over many years. We can look carefully at what still fits, what is still useful and what no longer represents who we are today. We can let go of what is outdated and make room for something new.
In the same way, we can examine our beliefs and ask ourselves: Does this belief still serve me? Is it supported by my present experience? What might change if I looked at this situation differently?
We constantly interpret what happens around us, constructing an internal narrative that gives meaning to our experiences. But our interpretation is not necessarily the same as objective reality.
Learning to slow down, observe our thoughts and distinguish between facts and interpretations can therefore help us recognise which beliefs remain useful and which may have become limiting or outdated.
Without this awareness, deeply established patterns can continue to influence our reactions automatically. With greater self-awareness, however, we can begin to question these patterns and develop new perspectives and behaviours.
Choosing to consciously examine what we believe can be an empowering process, because external events are not the only factors influencing how we feel and behave: the meaning we give to those events also plays an important role.
When our perspective changes, our response can change too. And when we begin to think and act differently, we can create the conditions for new choices, new behaviours and new experiences.
